um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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