you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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