I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize