I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize