He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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