opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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