someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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