I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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