The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize