pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize