Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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