Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize