I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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