Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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