There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize