Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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