I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
foreskin is a definite game changer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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