Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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