Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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