that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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