I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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