just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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