we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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