weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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