but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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