I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize