matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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