u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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