So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize