Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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