I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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