okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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