literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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