well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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