is your mom at the bar?
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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