we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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