it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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