we're blogging at a bar
he thought i was a dude.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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