You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize