i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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