does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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