Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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