She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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