I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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