Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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