So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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