god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize