You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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