This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize