remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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